More on story

So for the past week or so I've been reading Robert McKee's Story, which I highly recommend for anyone struggling with story. Scratch that, I recommend for everyone in general. Hopefully by the end of Previz I will have finished that book, giving me a great, inspiring story that will carry my motivation through the rest of thesis execution.

And now, back to the real world in which I'm struggling to put together midterm deliverables. I spent a lot of time time thinking about story ideas and all the suggestions people have made, both in class, and as comments on this blog. Here's a list of all the suggestions, and my response as of this moment:

-Save the payoff, that is, what he is actually making, till the very end when the dragon comes out of the well

I think this is likely to confuse the audience. Also, it is too close to the actual payoff, so that just as the audience realizes its a dragon, immediately after they realize it is really small.

-Insert a "dream sequence" shot that shows what he's imagining the dragon will be like

Doesn't really flow well. It is also hard to animate, and kind of superfluous. I think I can show this just as well by a close shot as he gazes wondrously at a picture of the end result (which is not to scale)

-Animate the different ingredients being put into the well, make them somehow significant instead of indistinct and cliche

I'm playing with this idea, which is similar to the "use magical ingredient substitutes comment further down.

-At the end, have the experiment not work. The kid gets angry and knocks something over into the well by accident, which triggers its success (accidental final ingredient).

Still up in the air about this one. It definitely disrupts the flow of the story, but I'm trying to decide whether or not this is a good thing. Any suggestions? Is the final ingredient added deliberately, or by accident?

-Have a shot where the kid is sitting by himself, small in the frame, to illustrate his loneliness.

I'm not sure how much loneliness needs to be played up here. The kid can have a lot of friends and still think it would be cool to have a dragon. Shot composition is a hazy area between preproduction and production, so this may change.

-At the end, the kid puts one more ingredient on the dragon and the dragon turns big, squishing the kid

This, to me, is a little cheesy. It completely negates the message of the story, that it's okay if the results of your work are not exactly what you expected. Personally, this is something I would roll my eyes at if I saw in an animated short.

-Opening sequence of the boy reading about dragons and wondering what it would be like to have one

The opening is definitely still undecided. What should be the first shot? Originally, my first shot was the well itself, but that has since become a bit of a leftover aspect of my original story when the character was an adult. I don't think I would like to open with the boy wondering what it would be like to have a dragon, because that would take up too much time. I think it would be better to start by saying the kid wants a dragon. The explanation is given in the manual itself, which shows an image of a rider flying across the sky on top of a mighty dragon. Who wouldn't want that?

-Have the opening scene be on the manual itself: How to make a dragon. The page turns, and it says, step one, find a well. The camera cuts to an establishing shot showing the kid holding the manual, and the UPS box, standing in front of a well

This was a funny idea Gabriel came up with. Honestly, I like it because we get into the story very quickly, with the need for background story kept to a minimum. Personally, I despise background story because nothing advances. It's like saying, well, to understand this you have to first understand this other thing. You feel like you're taking two steps back before moving forward. Of course, some back story is necessary, but I don't think I need much for my project. Any ideas?

-Put the final ingredient as an inlaid potion bottle in the book itself

Cute, but only applies if all the other ingredients are not included in the kit. I think all the ingredients are going to be available from the outset, thus no actual need to place the final ingredient within the book itself.

-Play with the idea of everything in the kit looking cheap--audience expects the experiment to fail, and then it ends up actually working.

This is a good idea. How many times have we seen ads that say, "Most amazing thing ever! You won't believe your eyes!" and then you get the product and it's a terrible disappointment? I think we tend to be very skeptical about people trying to sell us things, and thus this perfectly plays upon that expectation as well.

-Show the ingredients in the book to be ancient wizarding ingredients, and the kid tries to find substitutes for such ingredients (eg substituting a swimming pool for the well).

I like the idea, but it seems like I'll have to come up with several ideas. It's doable if the ideas come to me, but I don't want to be stuck on such an unimportant plot point. It could serve as an explanation for why the dragon turns out so small, I dunno. We'll see.

-For the side "reveal" shot, the kid looks at the picture on the front cover of the kit, then up at what the dragon looks like.

Great shot idea. I think I'm going to use it.

-For the end, the kid feeds something to the dragon, who then burps and breathes fire in his face.

Not quite sure about the ending, still.

-Use a bathtub or swimming pool instead of a well

I like the well. I don't know why. It's a quirky, anachronistic element in an otherwise (now) modernized story, but then again dragons aren't really contemporary either.

-Have the kid find the book instead of having it from the beginning

This goes back to the "kid wondering about having a dragon" comment. It will take too long to get into the story; I want to have the kid start out being motivated and taking action to create his dragon.

-Show a shadow on the walls that makes the dragon look large at first

Definitely a possible shot. The perspective will be interesting and I'm going to play with different lenses and cameras in Maya for the "dragon looks huge" shot. The room will be dark at that point, so shadows might be hard to see, but it could work.

-Make the boy himself be the final ingredient and turn into the dragon

The boy turns into the dragon? That's a little bit far off from my original story. It's an interesting idea, but sounds like it's part of a different dragon story. Actually, it sounds a little bit like Demetri's project.

-Put "Illustration not to scale" in small print on the manual / book

Great idea. Really funny, and the exceptionally perceptive audience members can gloat about having noticed it. Great foreshadowing element.

-Burn something else to a crisp besides the kid, because burning the kid makes it too scary.

Actually, a legitimate problem. That and I'm not really keen on ending the project with a joke.

-Use Dash from The Incredibles as a template for the kid's design

The design idea I had in mind was a much more chubby kid than dash, but actually a dash-like kid works. Maybe I'll go watch the Incredibles again.


Whew. That's all the comments, at least those I wrote down. So, my story status: I have a great middle! Now if only I could finalize my opening and ending!